Don't Underestimate an Alaskan Woman
You've got Sarah Palin to thank for my return from the depths of bloggers abyss. I've been getting inundated with questions about Alaska since Sarah Palin emerged from its frozen trenches. Having been born in Wasilla, Alaska and raised on a fly fishing lodge in an area so remote that even the Bridge to Nowhere couldn't come close to touching its sweet haven, I guess I now have the street-wise authority to speak on her behalf. We are, in fact, Alaskan soul sisters after all. And although I have never met her, don't believe in her politics, and will absolutely not be voting for her in the polls next month, my Alaskan opinion has somehow been endowed with the same sort of reverence that, oh let's say, a masters degree from Harvard provides.
Well, all be doggone, that's peachy!
So, although I would love to go on and on about the fact that I learned to fly a bush plane before learning to drive, or that my first word was "moose meat," or list trade secrets about peeing in an outhouse, in negative 40 degree weather, in bear country, during the dead of night-- I wouldn't be able to show my face again if I wasted this new found importance on such simple, Joe-Six-Pack, sentiments.
So here's my Alaskan opinion on our dear Sarah Palin.
There is something to be feared about Alaskan women who dare to dream big and have the guts to follow through. They are instinctual fighters. They take huge risks. They not only survive the most terrifying situations, they thrive on it. And, maybe the most frightening trait, and something that stems from being outnumbered by men, 10 to 1, Alaskan women have mastered the valuable skill of being ruthlessly manipulative, while remaining seductively charming. They can sneak up on you in ways that are seemingly quiet, unassuming, yet can be deeply detrimental to those around them.
When you live in a place where the true threat is Mother Nature, (not the Russians), you inherit an animalistic sense of survival. You learn to have patience and respect the various forces around you while constantly surveying the appropriate time in which to make your move. One bad decision with forces like rising water, heavy snowfall, thick fog, high winds, 24 hour nights, vicious wildlife, or sexually deprived men, can cost you your life. On the other hand, everywhere you look monumental natural beauty exists. Snow capped mountains tower over you in all directions, the glaciers have crevices so deep that the state of Rhode Island could be crammed into one, and the salmon weigh as much as your 12 year old McDonald's eating brother. Alaskan's are so accustomed to thinking in grandiose ways that this mindset, when applied, transfers over to things like risk-taking or dreaming. So it makes complete sense that Sarah Palin, a woman who during her formative years in Wasilla declared that she was going to be President of the United States, has outwitted and out-charmed a significant amount of this nation while rising straight to the top of a male dominated career path in the same time it usually takes most of us to heat up a microwavable meal. Sarah Palin is an Alaskan woman-- a rare phenomenon that should never be underestimated.
Up until now I've always placed these attributes in the positive category. But then again, I was on the side of the sabotage-e. It's a completely different situation when you're the one whose been duped. On one hand, I admire Sarah's game-- she's played an exceptional hand, maneuvered correctly, used her Alaskan female instincts to the best of her ability and is now smack dab in the middle of a political race that will no doubt make history. But where I think Sarah went wrong is that she failed to venture outside of Alaska's Joe-Six-Pack mentality and therefore has not yet mastered the unique skill of duping the intellectuals. If she had, then I can say with certainty that we'd all be singing a different tune.
So which ever way it ends up come November, just know one thing-- we haven't seen the last of Sarah Palin. She's gotten a good taste of life in the Lower 48, she's been handed a passport, and she sure as hell will be charming her way back to Washington in a matter of seconds. Let's just hope next time, we'll all be ready for her.
